Fears are a great part of our life. They contribute towards what we are! Just like coal, after experiencing harsh temperatures and pressure, turns into a beautiful diamond, we, after facing our fears, turn into beautiful humans.
This gave me a beautiful insight on the fears of a parent. Like him, I’m sure there are many other fathers out there, wondering if their baby would be able to mix up and know the norms of the world, weather he’d be able to survive as that rough and tough guy this world calls for. But here’s a tip for demolition of all such fears.
It is a fact that a caterpillar has to go through a great deal of metamorphosis before turning into a butterfly. If you have been ever so lucky to witness a pupa coming out of its cocoon and turn into a butterfly, you’d know that the very sight of the struggling little thing melts hearts. An ardent desire to help free it burns strong in our hearts. But we don’t go ahead – because we know that if we do help it out, the butterfly will never fly.
It is this initial struggle that prepares the fragile little being to face the cruel world in future. If it doesn’t pass through this on its own, it doesn’t survive!
It is the same with our little ones. They need to face the world on their own. They need to learn it the hard way that trusting people looks good in stories, but in reality- the world is a big fake screen projecting hidden vamps.
It is an inevitable fact that we won’t be present for them throughout their lives. There will come a phase when they will venture out independently. And at that time, they’d be much more grateful to us if we prepare them for the battle right from their childhood.
This does not mean we leave the kids on their own. We need to be that little whoosh of wind that’ll guide them through the process of metamorphosis, I repeat, just a whoosh of wind that does not touch the pupa but just rocks the cocoon.
All in all, we need to befriend our kids. We need to create a bond that remains forever. We need to build a relation that will make the child believe we’re their friends – that it’s perfectly safe and ok to share anything and everything with us!
We need not be the directors of their life, the role of a producer would be just fine! Nudging them is alright, but pushing them is not!
Don’t come on the scene and defend your child, but let your child experience the pain and know its intensity and then train him/her to overcome the troubles on their own.
As i always say,
Just befriend your kid from babyhood and instead of obliging him, discuss matters with him and mark my words- a guide is more helpful as compared to a map! So be his guide and not just a bossy old chap ordering away without troubling ‘bout his feelings.
Let the kids in on your experiences, suggest them stuff, but don’t expect them to follow . And never ask them to follow.
In the end, what happens is what’s inscribed in our destinies. We need not worry about the fruits to be reaped, but about the karma to be performed, as the Gita states.
I’d love to review your views and comments on this! Stay blessed! Love you all ❤