Samaira – A work of fictioN!

This is one of my worst posts I know!


 

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.

I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend’s wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batch mates. But what I didn’t know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.

She scanned the airport, clearly looking for somebody. Her searching eyes passed over me. Just passed. She never noticed me. Or maybe she did and had decided to ignore me…I never knew.

A few minutes later, as I leaned back and closed my eyes in the waiting area, aware of her presence within a few yards, memories of the year 2012 pulled me in. The college farewell, the tears, the smiles, the promises floated back to me. But in the midst of them all, I stumbled upon that well avoided part of my mental book of memories which I had dreaded ever since the college farewell.

The breakup!I_Love_You_2.jpg

Well, it wasn’t really a breakup, I reminded myself. I had dumped her cruelly.

An involuntary sigh escaped me as the despair of 2012 started seeping in once again. I had, by now, accepted the fact that I had acted like a self centered, attention seeking, and egoistic pig. And I hadn’t yet apologized for my mistakes, owing to my male pride.

But now, when the only girl for whom my heart had fluttered was sitting yards away from me, a sheer sense of shamefulness engulfed me.

Samaira, I think this is the right time for us to…to walk towards our own goals”, I had whispered to her in the farewell.

“What do you mean?”

“I think we should move on. I mean, I no longer want this relationship. My life goals are different. And you don’t fit in there!”

And like the perfect pervert I was, I had expected her to fall down on her knees, to beg me to stay, to shed tears for me.

But, like the sensible girl she’d always been, she had turned towards me with the words, “I won’t be able to live without you! The rest is your choice.”

I had walked off, never to return.

But every conscious moment of my life had been spent thinking about her voice, her smell, her talks, her secrets, her habits…about her!

And today, after 4 long years, she was finally right in front of me. She had never operated her facebook, her whatsapp or any other social media application since that fateful year. Yet, here she was, her eyes glued to her smart phone as she kept pushing her bangs off her face.

She hated bangs and had always avoided getting “flicks” during a haircut, I remembered. But times change, and so do people, I thought.

A black clad young fellow entered the area and almost blocked my view of her as he leaned down to whisper something over her shoulder. She shook her head and went back to typing on her phone as the man occupied the seat beside her. An ardent desire to punch him in the face rose in me as he pulled her close and held her by the shoulders while she rested her head on his shoulder.

It struck me harder than an act of blasphemy would strike a priest; harder than the apple struck Newton (whereby he gave whacky formulae to the world); harder than Cabrera’s bat struck the ball, as he leaned down to kiss her. With a frown scrunching up my dark circles to look darker, I watched on as she kissed him back and went back to her phone.

She had moved on. I had not.

The stark reality was harder than what I had imagined. I still loved her, but she didn’t. She had moved on!

They stuck together like Munchkin county Cows throughout the journey. I tried hard not to look, but failed terribly.

Once in Bengaluru and into the hotel I was booked on, I decided to push away thoughts of Samaira and the guy and enjoy the wedding.

We, my batch mates and I, had decided to meet up at Ahana’s place – a resident of Bengaluru itself.

For a minute, amongst hugs and handshakes, I had completely forgotten about Sam. But then, I saw the black clad fellow from the airport there. He was dressed up in a jeans and a shirt and was walking straight towards me.

“Rohan! My brother!” he greeted me. I looked on, completely perplexed, as he took my hands in his. I never knew him…did I?

I looked around for Samaira, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“Rohan? You recognized me right?” he asked, noting my baffled glances.

“Rohan!” he shook me repeatedly by the hand, and amongst the buzz of reunion I did something that I probably shouldn’t have.

Wham!

I punched him in the face. Right on his nose.

He took a step back. The hall grew silent. Every eye was on me. I looked around at those faces that I had known so well and then at the one standing in front of me. I wanted to apologize but a surge of emotions refrained me from doing so.

I staggered back a step or two, heading for the door. Heading out of the silent mob of stares and accusing glances. My eyes met Riya’s, Samaira’s best friend. They were glowing with rebuke. Why? Just because I had left Samaira for no particular reason? I wanted to yell out that Sam was happy, and that she should mind her own business.

But I walked off silently. Outside the building, a pleasant breeze cooled my brow. Digging my hands into my pant pockets, I walked on aimlessly into the ignominious darkness of an alley.

I couldn’t digest the fact that she didn’t whine for me, that she didn’t try to contact me. Maybe it was my “male ego”, as she used say long ago.

“Rohan!” I heard a distant voice. A woman’s voice. I turned around to find Riya standing at the alleyway entrance.

“Riya? Is that you…?” I asked, mentally wincing at my stupid question.

“No, this is Sam’s ghost reporting!” she yelled back. Lame!

“What do you want?” I fired.

“Your blood!” she retorted. Super lame!

I jogged back to her, unwillingly.

She looked me in the eye, “You punched Yash.”

A look of horror crept up my face as my feet grew cold. It was Yash!

He had been Sam’s neighbor and our batch mate and a good friend of mine for the couple of years he had been in our college. After a student exchange program, we had never met. Moreover, his clean shaved face and the fit built was nowhere near what he used to be years ago.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “but it’s none of your business.”

The fact that Yash was with Sam was even harder to digest.

“Were you born a defaulter? I wish you wouldn’t have entered our lives in the first place Rohan! Do you have any idea about the amount of hate I currently carry for you!?” she looked at me, apparently expecting an answer.

I felt sick and a deep knot tightened in my stomach.

“You never even turned up at her funeral…” she almost whispered. I was a bit surprised to find tears welling up in her dark eyes.

“Funeral? Whose funeral?” I questioned.

She turned to hide her tears as a male voice replied, “Sam’s funeral.”

Yash stood behind her, a few drops of red staining the region below his nose which had been blood wiped off hastily.

“Sam’s funeral? What are you guys talking about?”

It was probably a mistake because at that very instant Riya turned at around said something under her breath and I was positive that her look alone could kill.

“Rohan…we need to talk”.

5 minutes later, the mild afternoon sun found us sitting in the Home Town Café with three untouched lattes kept on the table before us.

“Ok so I’m going against Riya and telling you something that I guess you need to know,” Yash said, breaking the awkward silence.

I nodded.

“Rohan, you remember the college farewell?” he started.

“Who wouldn’t,” Riya sliced in.

“You remember you went off to Delhi after the farewell, right?” Yash continued.

“Of course he does, you douche bag!” Riya interrupted again.

“You know what Sam did after that?”

I shook my head.

“She boarded a plane to come to you to Delhi. She wanted to see you for the last time,” Riya said, her voice still cold.

“But she never came to me…” I said, slowly.

“She never reached you Rohan,” Yash continued, “Remember the 2012 plane crash near Rohra?”

I shook my head again, my throat going dry.

“Do you live in a wild life sanction or don’t you have TV and a newspaper subscription?” Riya questioned, her tone cold enough to freeze steam into pointed icicles.

“Sam was on that plane,” Yash stated.

“She…did she die?” my voice croaked, my throat was dry and even the slightest effort to talk hurt in my stomach.

“No, not right away,” Riya answered, “She got a back injury. Her spinal cord was adversely affected and she went into abdominal coma for a few weeks. The doctors said that the operation involved could kill her.”

I was silent. The whole world seemed to be silent as Yash continued, “Sam had made friends with a girl in the plane. Her name’s Aanchal. She was with her master as a maid. When the plane crashed, the master died. And Aanchal was kept in the same hospital as Sam. For weeks no one came to take her responsibility. According to Sam, Aanchal was an orphan.”

I nodded again.

“Aanchal’s face was distorted. Completely. Sam knew that she was dying and so she requested her parents to adopt Aanchal as their own daughter,” Yash stopped to take a breath.

“Wait Yash, he ought to know Sam’s word,” turning to me Riya continued, “She said she had no will to stay alive after losing you. She asked Uncle to get Aanchal’s face done up. She wished Aanchal would have HER face. And she gave up her eyes to Aanchal. Aanchal has taken her place now…”

“You mean…the girl I saw you with was Aanchal?” I questioned, cautious not to meet Riya’s stare.

“Yes,” Yash replied.

“Rohan, do even feel a tiny bit of guilt residing in you? Why…why did you leave her in the first place? Were you tired of her? You had used her to the highest level possible and found her useless? Was it the reason?” Riya bombarded me with questions, half of which were lost in a jumble of words within my brain.

I wanted to yell at her to stop. I wanted to tell her how much I had loved Sam, how much I longed for her right then. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I couldn’t make sense of anything for a while

Sam was dead, and this was the hardest of blows I had had this week. Sam died on the way to meet ME.

I’d never see her again. All because of me!

“Can I …meet Anchal?” I whispered.

“No Rohan. You took away Sam from us. This is her second chance to life and we can’t let you spoil that,” Riya hissed before getting up to leave.

“Being a man is ok. But being a beast is not. Pride is ok, Rohan, ego is just not! Grow up man,” Yash said, before leaving.

Grow up…maybe I had to.

 

 

 

Lines from a book I’ll never complete!

Hola mates!
I was going through short excerpts written by me. I was stunned by a few and laughed at others. I decided to start posting them here, so here I go…

You’re the guy of my dreams
The one for whom my heart beats
You’re the one who makes me smile
Cry n jump n run a mile

Sorry m not a poet.
But yes I can write. I can write my heart out. And even as I write this m sure you’ll get wat I want to pass on. I love u.
Today I know wat love is. It’s not a distraction but a motivation to do better …its not physical touch but the emotional support.
My heart beats for you. My mind searches for u. My eyes look for u. I cherish our memories with care.
I promise u  I won’t let my shadow leave you. I won’t let your hand go away from mine. I won’t let this heart beat for another guy. You know why?
Coz you …yes you  …have stolen my peace. No more am I at ease. I love u ..n I want your love back ♡
I can write forever about your beautiful fragrance, dazzling smile, strong personality and a winning nature.
I can write forever about our stupid fights and our silly jokes.
I can write forever about how much you mean to me.
I can write forever about YOU.
But that’s not the point to be highlighted. You know wat is?
That I’d always write for you.
Only for you.
Coz I love you.

*no one’s supposed to get personal over that*

Caution:Exams ahead!

Greetings mates!

I’m going through THAT time of the year.

Yes it’s THAT time. The time when you know that the final exams are round the corner and you haven’t prepared a bit. The time when you feel like life’s gonna tumble and you won’t even be able to earn your bread (forget about strawberries dipped in dark chocolate)!

Anyway, what I wanted to discuss today is the study pattern of the contemporary world. Is it right? Well does it leave the child with enough to time actually “discover” stuff? I don’t know about other countries, but in India – life of a student is miserable.

To think deeper, we see that Gaglelio, Newton, Archimedes – great scientists – had never sat in their laboratories writing down gibberish on a piece of paper and making frantic calculations! No!

Galileo spent hours in a church just observing the pendulum. Newton spent time under apple tree I’m sure. And Archimedes took lazy baths.

But students today? They wake up in the morning, go to school, come back, go to coaching classes, return home and study a bit more so that their brains could go to hell and then eat a bit and go off to sleep (that’s for 4 hrs). They stink sometimes due to the lack of time (means no bath!). They are sleep and food deprived. They have no social life. And then they finally get into THE IIT ! Yay – goal achieved.

But then when they look back at their earlier years of life they see that there’s nothing – absolutely nothing – that they can laugh about or smile on.

Is this the way I am supposed to live life?


Anybody interested in guest blogging?

Email me at : aayusibiswas@gmail.com 

 

A short wishlist : By her To him

This piece of fiction has no significance as such.
It is the feelings of a girl who wants to hold on but has to let go of her love…


A short wishlist !
I wish you don’t forget me. I wish you remember those sweet memories we made and those stupid fights we had. I  wish you remember the cute meals we’d had together and sweet situations we’d experienced together.  You’re fatherly scolding to study and my teacherly scolding to eat properly . You’re protectiveness and my jealousy. Hope you remember them.
I wish you keep my gifts safe so that years later when you’re old n married you can boast that you had a girlfriend once who was not really hot but cared.
I wish you never forget wat I did was true love and that even when we’re 50 yrs old I’d be sitting alone in the verandah of my house drinking coffee from the mug u gave.
I wish you remember that even today I find you to be the most attractive guy in the world . You are charming :* .
I wish that you forgive my mistakes. M too immature I know. But you ain’t.
I wish that one day you be as famous as bill gates and then I get a chance to work for you. Don’t worry I won’t let u recognise me or interfere in your life.
I wish you live happily no matter where you are  because even today your pain is mine.
No I don’t love you. I don’t care for you. But there are lingering feelings in my heart that keep me from hating you.
I remember once you said that if we broke up..you’d keep buying gifts for my birthday n on my marriage you’ll post them with intrest. But lemme tell u u won’t be able to do that …coz i’d never get married.
I wish that if someone says my name you smile n say I miss her. No I don’t want any importance …just a small place in your heart.
I wish you are always safe and successful.  Keep smiling.
As a best frnd …A girl comes n goes like the new moon…so don’t fret or cry over it. Heart breaks are a part of life. Every night there’s one but the next morning is new!  So watever happens…remember that life goes on 😚 yolo!

The sunshine award !

I feel great today! Thank you soooo much Blackcat for nominating me for the sunshine award! I feel honored, really. All of you should check out her blog, it’s amazing!


 

What is the sunshine blogger’s award?

Well, It’s a great ‘pat on the back’! In other words, it’s a way of showing appreciation and introducing wonderful blogs on your site. It basically emerges from one post of that blog which has brought in a ray of sunshine in your life. Yep, it’s a chain bloggers award, given by the bloggers to the bloggers.


 

The rulesPalolem_sunset

Like every other meme, this too has a set of rules. They go like:

  1. You must thank the blogger who nominated you.
  2. You must answer the questions asked by that blogger.
  3. You must nominate another set of bloggers.
  4. You must ask a few questions of your own to those bloggers.
  5. You can’t nominate the blogger who nominated you!
  6. Notify the bloggers you nominated about the nomination!

 

Here I answer the questions asked to me: 

1 What is your favorite book?

There are many. The Vampire Academy series by Rachael Mead is an all time favorite. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is something I can swear by – it’s one of the best books ever. There are many more…but for now, these are the ones I name.

2 If you could change your name to anything, what would it be to?

Well, I never thought about it specifically. Ahana sounds good. But anyway, I won’t change it to that – I’d like a name that doesn’t start with A ….lol (roll number issues) .

3 If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

To conjure up anything I want (including the vanishing veil) or maybe to alter people’s mood according to my own free will!

4 What is your favorite quote?

We’re playing the same game, just different levels; facing the same hell, just different devils.

I dunno who gave that quote to the world! But yep, that’s my favorite. It reminds me that we’re not the UNFORTUNATE ONE, everyone’s just going through different levels of difficulties – we shouldn’t be cold with others.

5 What is your favorite subject?

Well, that’s tough…Computers I’ll go in for. I like English too! Science is good too…lol!


My Nominations

Ok, so here is the juiciest part! The bloggers I Nominate! All of you should check these blogs out – they are fantastic !

Comfy Thoughts 

Step Write Up 

From child to father 

Stereotypically Able 

Nikki Skies

Em’s Beauty study 


My questions to you are:

  1. Name one thing that you want desperately but can’t have it due to some reasons!
  2. What’s the book you can read a million times?
  3. Who’s the person you love the most?
  4. Are you a feminist?
  5. What do you do in your free time?

 

 

 


So long! See you until the next post!

Stay blessed ❤

Love yourself Quote #2

So here goes my second love yourself quote! I’ll be posting more of these on a weekly basis! Hope it helps to keep you motivated through the day!

DSCN0444

Befriend your mind, love your heart, marry your soul, and I bet you, happiness would never divorce you!

Stay tuned for more of these 🙂

Stay blessed! Love you all!

Savior – A piece of Fiction!

When I was 11, I was obsessed with action.


Millions of people fought years ago and died years ago. Millions of people did that for us years ago. Many of them became famous as freedom fighters. Bhagat Singh, Lal Bhadur Shastri, and Rani LakshmiBai were some of them. But there were some who never came to be known by us, some who were dedicated to the people, worked for the people but were not by the people. And I know about such a man, a man whose death still haunts me. Maybe because he died because of me.

It took place years ago, when I was just 18 and the whole of India was fighting for freedom. A time when the Indians killed Britishers on sight and the British too did its share of kidnapping Indian women and children. And I too was a woman, a helpless woman whom they had kidnapped. I was thrown into a ship and that was when it started….

Previously, two of their captives had disappeared and the Brits believed that they were rescued. So this time they had put us in the upper deck where only the whites could enter. I looked around at the three other people in the room. One, a kid of about seven, was lying on the bed and looked unconscious to me, another was a woman looking out of the window and the third occupant-a woman -was sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, and sobbing pitifully. I went to her and put my arms around her to comfort her. But when I tried to speak, I couldn’t. It was hard to choke back tears at this point but I held on. At this precise minute, the door opened and a white man entered the room.

I saw the other two women around me shiver (ok, I was scared too) as the man entered the room. He strode directly towards the kid on the bed, his face determined. Was he going to kill us or were we being handed back to our families in exchange of something? I had no idea what was in store for me. I stared as the man heaved the kid on his shoulder and motioned for us to follow. Noticing a gun in his hand, we complied. Once outside he took us through winding passages in the ship. As time passed, the passages started growing deserted.

After a few minutes, the route he took was totally empty. On a sudden impulse I asked the man, “You’re going to kill us?” as soon as the words were out, I wished I had never spoken .The man stopped and turned towards me. His face sturdy but not cruel. “No” he said in a deep voice. “I’m not going to kill you, or even hurt you, as a matter of fact. But promise me that as soon as I let you out, you’d never turn around or speak to anybody about me. Once you’re out I don’t exist, ok?”

We nodded and I was about to speak when a man’s voice boomed from the rear, “You traitor!”

We all turned around to face a burly Brit. The next thing I knew was that I was being pulled from behind. We were all running and shots rang from behind us. The man led us to a door that opened into a dark hollow. He led us through the narrow path and after about fifteen minutes walk he stopped. We saw a thin streak of light behind us and knew they were not far away. The man brought his mouth near my ears and whispered, “Lead the women and kid through and take the first left. I’ll handle the bastards. Just hurry and don’t make a noise.” I could clearly hear his labored breathing and was reluctant to leave him. How I came to trust him, I don’t know but whatsoever, I followed his orders. Moving cautiously in the dark, I suddenly noticed a light ahead. Moving towards it, I noticed that it was the turning, lit by a lantern. It forked into two, and I took the left and suddenly stopped short as I heard the fire of a bullet. Looking behind me I saw the tension on the other women’s faces too. The one who now carried the child looked on the verge of tears. My own breath was held and after what seemed like ages the voices of the men went away. After what seemed like an eternity, I started walking again but not towards the exit but towards him.

Making my way through the dark with the lantern, I finally heard someone breathing heavily and my leg hit something. Bending down I realized it was none other than the man. Placing the lantern down I noticed his bleeding stomach and knew that he was shot. I was so frantic that all I could do was ask why?

And to this monosyllable he answered, “I lost my loved one in their hands and didn’t want your lovers to experience the same. I knew it was wrong, that we’re wrong. It was the least I could do.” And with that he left the world but his memories never left me. Many wouldn’t consider this meeting as being a friendly one but for me that single meeting was enough and I knew that he was my friend, my savior…….