Building Family Relations – Top Tips To Win Over Your Beau’s Parents

First impression is the last impression, they say and most probably this is the saying that comes to your mind when you’re meeting your guy’s parents for the first time – or maybe you’re so nervous that nothing comes to your mind! Never mind!

You want to leave a lasting impression on them and want to win over your boy friend’s parents, whereas you don’t want them to think you’re artificial. Well, we’re here to help you with that. Just follow these pointers and I’m sure you’ll have an excellent meeting ahead!

  1. Be courteous, be original: It’s not to be specified that you’ve got to be polite and respectful, but don’t show off. Introduce yourself with a smile and a handshake, address them by using prefixes like Mr. and Mrs., and be ladylike! Keep your show of affections towards your beloved to the minimal level. Be sure you don’t stay late night, if you’re at your guys house offer to wash the dishes and other stuff. Avoid probing into family scenarios and keep your conversations to the surface level – light and friendly.Broken_Heart
  2. Don’t get too congenial: It is probable that you’ll try to or want to get as close to the parental unit as soon as possible. But remember that it takes time for one to gain the others trust, so keep your emotions at bay and don’t throw yourself at them. You need not expect the same treatment they give their son to be directed towards you too, coz after all you’re still a newbie, a third party in the family. Also, you need to find out whether or not they are comfortable with hugs and stuff and if they like being called by their first name or not. The best way to know that is either asking your boy friend himself or waiting for them to hug you first and give you the green light for using first names. But till then, preserve your manners.’
  3. Take your notes beforehand: You need to ask your guy all about his family like what his parents do, where your boy friend grew up, where’s mom’s maiden home, so that you can come up with interesting topics to talk about. Silence would make things awkward during the meeting, and you babbling away about yourself would pull the trigger on vanity. So avoid talking about yourself a lot and focus on them.
  4. Observe: While with the family, sit back and observe them to get an idea of the picture. See how Mom and Dad talk to each other, note if your boy’s their favorite sibling, notice if the family maintains distance with some particular relative. This will tell you volumes about them. Also check if they are interested in what you say or not. If you are at his house, surroundings can tell you loads too.
  5. Dress appropriately: No revealing please, i.e. if you don’t want your boy friend’s parents spreading about that you dress in strips. Avoid wearing too short skirts, low cut tops, low waste jeans, skin tight outfits …you get the picture. Also, if your beau’s parents are believers of beauty in simplicity, there’s no sense in putting on a fashion show with loud makeup and garish clothes. Keep it down a bit, light make up and an attire considered by both you and your guy is the best. If you’re meeting up at his house, a sweater with a skirt minimum an inch or two above your knees with low heels work best. If outside, choose according to the location.

So best of luck girl and have a good time!

Minds are open only if hearts are open

I Wrote this piece when I was 14 years old. I don’t know if it makes sense…but do check out! Don’t foreget to leave reviews below! I love getting commented on 😉 


ArtofBeingMe-Header21Taking hold of Tina’s hand, Reema led her towards the so called ‘A – class’ table. Reema, one of the moneyed ones herself, offered the underprivileged girl a seat. As the whole mess looked on with dazed expressions, Tina sat down tentatively. “What is this, Reema?” questioned the ‘boss’, “You know that a lowly girl like her cannot sit with us. You wanna be friends with a disgusting daughter of a rickshaw man?” And, to her horror, Reema answered, “Yeah, because my mother taught me to be good to people.” Then added, “And she even told me not to go around in bad company, but sadly enough, I ignored her and now have to bear the consequences.” “Are you out of your mind?” someone whispered. “Mind? Ha. That’s open only when hearts are….provided that you have one,” Reema answered in a low tone before walking away.

Well said, won’t you say so? Minds are opened only when hearts are opened! And that is true most of the times. Caste, color, creed, country and distinction on these basis is something that’s prevalent not just in our society, but in the whole country, continent, world, everywhere. But what are these? Misconceptions? Wrong judgment? Biasness? No. All this is just because we don’t accept the poor, pitiable people. Just because we don’t love a section of our society. Just because we don’t open up to them. Just because we don’t give them a place in our HEARTS. And this thinking is what promotes disagreements, fights, crimes, and other dire things in our society; this very thinking, thought only with our minds and not hearts; this narrow-mindedness is the root.

Many of us believe that opening our hearts is ‘giving in to temptations’, to distractions. But that’s not true, opening our hearts means loving everyone, demolishing differences, rubbing off the lines that cut us from each other and seeing the world as one, not dissected sections. In other words, it’s being impartial. There is a very powerful saying that I quote here, “If you can’t change something, then accept it; and if you can’t accept something then change it.” But this can only be executed when we think emotionally and logically. And if we do it, I bet 90% of our social issues would disappear, because most common of our problems are that of discrimination between women and men, between the rich and poor and between scheduled castes/tribes and general class. And it just doesn’t stop at that. When we use our hearts, we love. When we love, we think. When we think, we understand. When we understand, we help. And when we help, we make the country a better place to live in! We make friends who trust. And trust is the most important thing in a successful relationship.

And an open mind? Well it simply refers to broadmindedness, non-judgmental attitude, tolerance and permissiveness. And I’m sure, all of you must have seen that heart and mind go along like a rider and its horse, and sometimes people even mistaken heart for mind and mind for heart. There’s just a thin line separating them. And if you try, you can merge the two things to get better results.

But some may oppose this theory. Some may say that when we use our hearts, we think irrationally; that we lose our logic; that we stop following the right path. But there’s something I would like to point out: don’t robots too think? They too work, don’t they? They too do things that humans do, don’t they? They too have a brain, don’t they? So shouldn’t they too be referred to as human? NO, you would say. There is a basic difference between them and us. And it is that of a soft, rhythmic beating known as heart beats. They lack it. We don’t. So if god has given us a heart, why not use it? After all, logical thinking is done even by robots that don’t have hearts, but god has given it to us because of some reason. Realize it. And use it. Because our system works differently. Because we are made to think differently. To think not only with a broad mind, but with an equally large heart. So, don’t be a robot and along with motion have some emotions.

Still, if you think that there’s no connection between hearts and minds, then think of those moments when you had to make a choice. A choice between right and wrong. A choice between you yourself and the disadvantaged one in front of you. A choice between duty and expectancy. Or something as simple as a choice between telling your best friend about something or rather dying with a heavy heart (not literally dying). In those moments, whom do you generally refer to? To that logical brain of yours? I’m sure your brains are mostly absent then. You get emotional or else you aren’t able to make a choice. Isn’t it so? So we conclude that we have to get emotional at some points of our lives, and even if we don’t, the circumstances make us so. And broadmindedness will only come to us if and when we’ll open up, with our minds and hearts…..

But if you still think it’s not true, or you think you’ve never experienced a situation like the ones mentioned above, or you still think that one should blindly follow one’s closed mind as opposed to a broad and open one (that comes with a heart like that) then you should seriously consider Reema’s statement, Minds are “open only when hearts are….provided that you have one!”


Do leave comments! 

A Villain with a Heart

I wrote it when I was 11 !!


My eyes misted as I clapped for my son who marched up the stage to accept his medal. I was really proud for the deeds my son had done as a military commander for the country but the cause of my tears was the memory of a friend, Jackhans_7507

Jack was an excellent shooter and a famous (in the underworld) personality. How did we meet? Well, he saved my life.

It was a chilly morning of December when I was walking down the Eve Street, unaware of the danger in store. The locality was deserted and except me there were only a couple of other peoplea young man and an old womanon the street. Everything was quiet when suddenly a shot rang out, shattering the stillness. In an instant the young man had his gun out, aimed at the old women. The woman, surprisingly, lost her limpness and ran for cover behind a wall (and she too had a gun) – she turned out to be a man. I shrieked as someone grabbed me from behind and blindfolded me. I was carried in, perhaps, a car to some musty place, which turned out to be the dungeons of the Webster House. My blinds were removed but my hands and feet were securely tied and then I was thrown in one of the
cells.

Sweat poured through my body, all sorts of thoughts passing my mind. I looked around myself and found to my surprise that there were a dozen more people in the vault, all unconscious. They were all VIPs (except a couple of girls who were simple citizens like me)relations of different ministers whom I knew by faces .For a minute I felt honored to meet such people but then again the thoughts of the gangsters filled my head. Otherwise, the room vault was completely bare and was illuminated by the glow of the only light bulb present there. I tried to wriggle out of my bonds but they were tied quite professionally. At that moment the metallic door opened to reveal a lot of rogues.

They were all dressed in black and were carrying AK-47s in their shoulder holsters. I got scared when they started towards me but they didn’t even seem to notice me and passed on. They carried the unconscious figures of the VIPs out one by one and closed the door. Now there were only three of us left in the cell- the two, partially conscious, girls and myself. Once they were fully recovered I tried to talk them into telling me what the whole affair was about but they were too scared to utter a single word.

After a few hours of silence, there came a grating sound and the door opened. In came a man, closing the door behind him. He was dressed fully in black like all other thugs; he advanced towards me with a sharp knife gleaming in his hand. I screamed with fright assuming that he was planning to kill me. The man gave me a sharp look with a finger on his lips; I understood that I had to be quiet. When he came a little closer, I gasped in recognition- he was none other than the underworld face whose picture was on the wanted list of criminals on the papers, famous by the name of the Jackal.

He walked up to me with the sharp blade, and with one stroke of his arm…

I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come but instead I felt the grips of ropes loosen around my wrists. I slowly reopened my eyes and gazed at him who was setting the other girls free. My mind still wasn’t ready to accept what was happening, I was sure that he was going to assassinate me but my heart opposed it as his eyes showed concern though he appeared to be ruthless.

The man motioned us all to sit and said, “The doors are heavily guarded at present. It’ll be easier to get out at noon, the guards at that shift are easier to handle.” I sat close to him and asked in a hesitating manner, “Aren’t you the-“

“Jackal, yeah!” he said interrupting me. I sat quietly waiting for an explanation but when none came I again inquired, “What’s going on here and how come you saving lives instead destroying…I…please, no offence or anything intended.”

“None taken. And about your question, the whole thing’s this- these people are an international group of terrorists, want money and their dangerous fellas set free from the clutches of the police. They’re holding important people as hostages. And about why I’m helpin’ you’ll- it’s a long story but in short” he sighed “my sister, the only one I’ve ever had to call a family, was abducted and was brutally murdered by a group of outlaws”, for a moment his eyes were filled with misery and sorrow but in no time, he regained his ruthless attitude and resumed, “I can’t see innocent children and women killed and I came forward. And my reputation helped me to gain the terrorists trust, so here I am.”

“So you mean to say that you entered as a terrorist but are actually working for the government?”

“Not. For. The government.” He said this slowly yet furiously. “I told you how much I cared for my sister Laura. When she was in danger I was not there to save her; and I find… peace on saving the innocent. And the government is actually after me, ‘cause I’m a wanted criminal, am I not?”

A criminal saving women and children, weird.

I sat for a while, looking at the man and then extended my hand, “I’m Jane Maria Christie.” He gave a quick two fingered salute saying, “Jack Sullivan”

After a sleepy hour or so, Jack stood up, asking us to do the same. “Now, follow me and remember-if there are any shootouts, stick to the ground. Clear?” We all nodded.

With gesturing to be quiet, he moved out of the door with all of us tailing him. After turning a corner we followed him at a brisk pace towards the door, but Jack came to an abrupt stop and to our horror, we were face to face with one of the assassins.

He, at first ignored our expression and gave Jack a friendly smile and extended his palm, asking for a pass. From Jack’s expression it was clear that he wasn’t expecting anything of this sort. When Jack was unable to provide him with what he wanted, his expression became grave. He looked first at Jack and then at us, and at once took out his gun. Then there was quite a lot of shooting between a few terrorists and Jack. As instructed, we went down on our bellies and crawled all the way to the door.

“Run, run for your lives, go to gate 4, hurry” came the orders from the wounded Jack as he was still blocking the door so that the terrorists couldn’t follow us. Unwillingly, we left him to fight for himself and ran out. Whatsoever, we were being followed by a couple of gangsters. Once outside, we saw that the atmosphere was tense as if preparing for a war. We saw on a city map displayed on a board that gate 4 was a military base and was not too far from where we were standing. We ran at top speed, stopping only once to catch our breath. We finally reached the base (where one of my companions fainted out of tiredness) where noticing our conditions, we were carried inside.

In a week, we came to know that the terrorists were under control-all because of our army-and the VIPs were located.

The next morning’s paper showed that several of the gangsters were found dead on the door of the Webster House (I knew it was Jack’s work). It also explained that the army men were under cover, patrolling the city (like the old woman who turned out to be a man) and it even revealed that the Jackal was found dead too, outside the dungeons.

Every one still thinks that he was a companion of the terrorists. No one knows the truth about the daring hero. Now, 20 yrs have passed but the incident is still fresh in my mind. I’m really happy to think that I got a chance to know such a great person who gave up his life just for three citizens whom he didn’t even know. This was not exactly a friendly meeting but to me he would always be a friend-a savior.

There are many villains in this world, but this one was different …he was a villain with a heart.

Relationship Breakup – Questions To Ask Yourself before Ending a Relationship

Wanting to be with that extra special person always, holding hands, those ‘perfect life’ moments when you get a sudden kiss, those cherished hugs, songs sung together, making each other laugh out loud, crying together, sharing each and every moment of life, wanting to be in each other’s dreams, in short – loving each other unconditionally…but suddenly one day or rather over a period of time, it’s gone. No more is he your heartbeat, no more is she your breath of life…rather it’s a nightmarish scenario for you both and you want to call it quits!tumblr_myp08blWgc1si8ya3o1_500

Are you experiencing that? Well, then you certainly need to go through this article! I’m not going to council you here, but just ask you to go through the questions mentioned. Just ask yourself these questions before ending your relationship.

Is the problem too hard? 

Ask yourself what the real problem is! Is it that your partner is abusing you, using violence or is an unchangeable drunkard? Then it definitely is a problem you need to solve by ending the relation hard heartedly. But if it’s not, if it’s just that you feel you don’t love each other anymore, or you feel it’s enough and you aren’t any good together cause of lack of understanding, then stop there for a while and talk to your partner about it. And by talk, I mean discuss it in a civilized way, don’t resort to ‘loud discussions’ or what normally people call fights. Stay calm, and maybe you’ll find out that you both still do love each other, there’s a string that you guys are holding on to! That in itself would make your relation worth fighting for!

Am I being rational?

You feel as if ending the relationship will open the blissful gates of the fantasyland known as ‘being single’, right? Wrong! What if you find out later on that you still miss him, that she was your life still? What then? He or she’s gone forever, and trying to gather lost feathers are one of the hardest things possible. Ask yourself and be just in answering the question: Is my relationship the only reason I’m unhappy?

Is his mistake greater than your love?

No one’s perfect and it’s a truth that one acquaints itself of sometime or another in life. You should keep this in consideration when you find your partner up to some mischief cause to err is human! The real question you should be asking is whether his mistake is huge enough? Or can a second chance be worth a shot? Ask if you can trust him again. Go back to those times of insecurity when his presence was enough to make you feel comfortable again. Don’t just let all that go in vain, try your best please!

Am I being too hasty or am I overreacting?

Promise yourself that you’ll give the problem a week’s time before ending your relation. Maybe, you’ll realize that it was a mere misunderstanding. Contemplate the issue from when you started feeling like ending the relationship! You can even go for a short vacation – on your own, without your spouse or partner. It would be a great change and you’ll get rational circumstances to think things out.

My family, is he or she any less of it?

Family and friends are a great issue. Pressure by them is one of the reasons why you tend to break it up. But ask yourself; is your family actually right? Does the relation mean anything to you so you can fight for it? Isn’t your partner one whom you had considered being your family too?

May you have a prosperous life with the significant other, because love once found should not be allowed to get lost!

I’d love to answer any of your queries below!

stay blessed! Love you all ❤